Past mistakes can have a nasty habit of holding you back from what you want and the problem is, you probably don’t always know it’s happening. The thoughts and emotions that have been attached to those events, get linked to today’s experiences – leaving us in a state of fear, panic and at worst, depression. We then end up running on autopilot; where each and every day seems like it’s we’re going through the motions. It feels like you’re flat, lost, and drained and unable to motivate yourself to take steps to move forward.

So how do you know whether this is happening to you?

Every time you get a burst of confidence to take back control in your life, a shadow falls over you and you begin to feel those oh-so common feelings of:

  • Guilt
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of rejection
  • Not being “good” or “worthy” enough

When we feel like that, it almost always relates back to our past.

Self-sabotaging patterns we default to

And it can then cause us to further sabotage our efforts to move forward – by falling into our common self-sabotaging patterns. If you’re looking to achieve something in your life – maybe you want to start your own business or launch a new product – but aren’t currently gaining traction with it, it could be that you’re falling into these common self-sabotaging patterns.

Pattern #1 You start to do something exciting that you’ve always wanted to, but then never follow it through to completion.

It could be that you have the plans in place, but then can’t find the time to fit any action steps to complete. Alternatively, you may have made a start, but hit a point where you suddenly feel that it’s not a good idea or not the right move for you.

Pattern #2 Picking arguments with your nearest and dearest – just when everything seems to be running smoothly and amicably.

You start worrying about how your partner will react or what they’re really thinking. Or maybe you’re just getting plain annoyed that they’re not reacting the way you want them to react or not doing something the way you want it done.

Pattern #3 Getting involved with other people’s drama.

This doesn’t just relate to those around you – it can also include TV soaps! We start feeling like life is getting out of control. There’s so much going on and we’re invested and involved in it – and it leaves us feeling rushed, stressed, tired and busy!

These all happen because you’ve hit a point where you’re feeling uncomfortable. You’re wanting to make changes, either to yourself or your life generally, but are hitting old evidence of why this shouldn’t go how you want it to go.

Start to change your story

If you’re meeting resistance reading this article or can totally relate to any or all of the examples above, then you need to start by getting honest with yourself.

Start to acknowledge what you’re feeling and thinking. What images are flashing in your mind? Then go back and remember what you were thinking and feeling, prior to that – the chances are, you were feeling a bit more optimistic and positive than usual, or were making real steps in your progress.

Changing how we feel about mistakes of our past can really affect how we act today. It’s only by changing our story around our past, that we can free ourselves to start moving confidently forward with our future.

How did you get on with today’s post? Have you noticed any areas where you’re currently holding yourself back or sabotaging your life, because of your past? Why not share you’re a-ha moments in the comments box below!