Are you trying hard to achieve something? Is there something you keep trying to fit into your day, to no avail? Sometimes, in order to get something done, we just have to stop trying so damn hard to make it happen!

Why trying isn’t good

When we’re in a trying mindset, we’re pushing. The fact that we’re trying is setting us up for the very thing we are wanting to avoid – failure.

We need to be in a place of doing rather than trying. Think about it for a minute. If you’re trying to fit something in, the chances are you won’t actually achieve it. Your brain already thinks it’s difficult for you. Think about the times you’ve told someone you’ll try and pop round to see them – the chances are; you didn’t do it. But if you decide to just do it, you’ll have a higher success rate, because you’re more predisposed to actually getting it done.

Go with the flow

If you’re trying too hard to get something to work, it’s a strong indicator that you’re battling against the tide/flow and what you really want – i.e. you’re not going in the right direction.

Flow should be easy. Think about when you’re doing something you love. Time flies, you’re totally engrossed in it and it all naturally fits together. It may take hard work but it’s not forced or an uphill struggle. Often, we may struggle to get started, especially if the task ahead is a large one, but it’s only that initial push that is needed. If it’s something we want to do, it then becomes easy as we get into it.

If you’re trying hard to force something to work, it’s all going to be difficult and unenjoyable. It ends up feeling as though you’re trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

What about working hard?

Working hard is great and is different to trying – unless you’re constantly telling yourself how hard everything is!

By putting that thought into your head, everything will be hard. You’re setting yourself up to battle against the flow, to get ready to push and to struggle.

If you’re working hard to achieve something you want, by all means, tell yourself you’re working hard – but don’t tell yourself it’s all difficult and hard – as it will take all of the enjoyment out the journey you are on and often, the journey itself needs to be as enjoyable as the end result.

What can you do to help yourself?

That constant pushing, forcing and trying will jam up your creativity, your focus and leave you tense and frustrated. Take a step back or even away altogether. Put some distance there, so you can reassess if it’s what you really want or if it’s even in the right direction for you.

Give yourself time to connect back in with your feelings and reasons for wanting this to work. Are you trying so hard, because you feel you should do this? Are you trying so hard to prove a point or prove yourself to someone else? Are you following someone else’s agenda? Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Then look at your mind set. Are you telling yourself this is hard or difficult at every step? Are you constantly telling yourself you need this to work, in order to…? Are you putting yourself under so much stress to achieve this, you’re now unable to think straight or see clearly?

If so, just stop. Take a step back and have a break. Reassess your reasons and your self-talk.

Decide to stop forcing it. Take that pressure away and the expectation behind it.

Take a steadying breath or two to calm yourself and get gently back into flow.

Or walk away altogether, scrap it and do something else – you decide.

What are you working hard to achieve and what are you prepared to let go off? What pressure can you take off yourself by getting back into flow? Why not share your experiences and opinions in the comments box below!